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| i dont know what to say: I LOVE TRICIA COOK MORE THAN
ANYTHING OR ANYONE IN THE WORLD!!! i wanna scream that from mountain tops, skyscapers, hills, valleys, planes,
i want the world to know how a girl that could never be happy finds something
far better than happiness in one person. nothing makes me happy, not money, shopping, food, clothes, beer, sex, nothing
but a simple hello from tricia has me smiling like im the happiest girl on earth.
nothing could ever make me complete
the way i know my life will be with her.
she is everything to me.
&& nothing will ever change. | | |
| I feel it slowly growing progressively getting stronger, the
unknown desires of my soul. My life is a constant emptiness,
dragging along with no purpose, filled with brief moments, that
leave these unknown feelings to linger. I have but few things in
life I treasure, yet most I could do without.
There is few I want, yet then again I want it all. I yearn for meaning, I long for significance, I ache to find out
why I feel this way, but yet so irrelevant all at once. Above all my
desire is to attain the ability, force, and diligence to discover my
true Destiny. I am not, but some child with big dreams, but a young mind
that knows it is destined for greatness. I need but figure it out. | | |
| im at a loss for words, for thought, for anything. I dont know how to deal with this anymore. How can i stay in a position where all i can do is give, because you refuse to offer up anything to take?? Im criticized for not being there for you when your whole world fall apart, but noone knows how you treat me. When i come to help you, you shut me off in the meanest evilest of ways and get so frustrated that i feel its better for me to stay away. I wanna help you really i always have. If you dont believe that your worse then i thought. Remember that day we were laying in bed in that empty house all by ourselves? That day when we heard things that made you scared, and i got up and locked you in the room and told you not to speak. You were confused you thought i was just showing off or teasing you but what you didnt get was no matter what was out there i was offering myself and saving you. Sure i was scared id walk into danger but it didnt matter because i knew you'd be okay even if i wasnt. I dont know what to do i could let this go i think maybe if i really tried but im not someone who is okay with being walked all over and left to cry. See you wont understand why im mad because to you, you did nothing wrong. And thats the problem you think your never wrong, when you know you are you argue till the death that your not. You take for granted everything i give. Yes i pay for everything and id do anything for you, but thats because thats how i am i give to those i love and care for, but you; you started to expect it like it was my job description in our friendship. You werent grateful for me, for my family, for my help, for my love, for my time, for my effort, for anything i ever did. You take your anger out on me whom you call your friend me who you say youd do anything for. You shouldnt say what you dont mean. But i think through all of this what hurts the most is that you dont even see how much youve taken me for granted youve just packed up and started looking for the next me. But what i hate the most is that i know id still do anything for you, and i love you to my hearts greatest peak. i wish i could walk away, & just get you out of my head.
   
  
   
   
   
  
 
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| AHH i HAVENT WRiTTEN ON THiS THiNG iN FOREVER i THiNK iTS TiME FOR AN UPDATE OR WHATEVER..
SO iTS A BRAND NEW YEAR, MOST OF THE TiME THATS ALWAYS A GOOD THiNG. YOU HEAR PEOPLE SAY ''OH, YAY A BRAND NEW START!'' OR SOME SHiT LiKE THAT BUT REALLY iTS NOT. YOU STiLL HAVE ALL YOUR FUCKED UP PAST FROM THE PREViOUS YEAR LOOMiNG OVER YOUR SHOULDER, NOT GOiNG ANYWHERE. i THiNK iTS PRETTY MUCH HORRiBLE BECAUSE EVERYONE AROUND ME iS HAPPY OR THEY HAVE SOME VERY MiNOR PROBLEMS LiKE A BROKEN TOE OR SOMETHiNG. THEiR SO EXCiTED TO START ANEW. i WiSH i COULD BE. BUT NOPE NOT ME iM AFRAiD THiS YEAR iS GUNNA BE MiSERABLE AS HELL.
1. iM AWAY FROM THE ONE PERSON i WiLL ALWAYS LOVE AND NEVER EVER QUESTiON. 2. MY BiRTHDAY iS THURSDAY AND i THOUGHT iT WAS WEDNESDAY SO MY PLANS ARE FUCKED TO HELL. 3. iVE MET SO MANY FLY BY PEOPLE THiS YEAR AND NONE HAVE GOTTEN MY MiND OFF HiM.
[WELL NONE EXCEPT THE ONE PERSON iM FUCKiNG FAR AWAY FROM] 4. i HATE MY HOME/FAMiLY/FRiENDS
[i DONT HATE MY FAMiLY WELL SORTA THEY MAKE ME FUCKiNG MiSERABLE TO THE POiNT OF HATRED, && i DONT HATE MY FRiENDS THEYRE JUST BEiNG EXTREMELY FUCKED UP TO ME[WiTH NO REASON JUST TO BE i GUESS] && THEY DONT GiVE A SHiT EiTHER] && THERES SO MUCH MORE BUT iM DONE VENTiNG FOR NOW iVE GOT FUCKiNG CRAMPS! P.S. iVE BEEN CURSiNG ALOT MORE RECENTLY i JUST NOTiCED LOL
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